03/07/2024

Happy Thursday, loves! Hope you’ve all had a great week thus far and are looking forward to a joyful weekend. This spring weather has me pumped up, even when it’s raining. We made it to the ocean last Sunday, and it was gorgeous. Nature really does feed the soul. Thank you as always for letting me feed you. 

Speaking of eating…

You may or may not already know this about me but I've struggled with anxiety for most of my life. However, thanks to proper nutrition and behavioral changes over the last 10+ years for me, I have experienced significant improvement with anxiety. Of course, like all humans I experience stress and sometimes my reaction to said stress, may be of more “dramatic” nature than some others’, but overall I have managed my symptoms successfully so that I can joyfully and functionally live my life. However, over the course of the last 6-9 months I have noticed a slow, but steady change (for the worse) in the anxiety symptoms (note: I have noticed how myself and others label anxiety as “my anxiety” and I don’t know about you but this is one thing I do not want ownership of, and our thoughts dictate our behavior, so I am changing up the way I talk about anxiety in relation to myself. It’s not mine, and certainly  not mine forever. I am free to let it go at any time ;-) ). After careful assessment of any changes I have made in the last year, I have made some valuable discoveries (FOR MYSELF!)! One is, I am highly sensitive to B12. You may hear a lot of the benefits of B vitamins, but this is just another reminder it is important to work closely with a health care practitioner and find out your body’s individual needs before taking whatever hot supplement crossed your instagram feed (not that I did this, but you get it. Trust your intuition). Turns out, when I take B12 in excess I have more energy than I already do. And that is just what anxiety is - excess energy with nowhere to go! Another thing I noticed was that the only thing I have drastically changed over the course of the last decade was I have started to eat much larger quantities of gluten and dairy. While I am still a believer that raw dairy and whole forms of wheat or organic sourdough can be beneficial staples in many diets, I think for me it does more harm than good. In the few weeks I have eliminated these foods from my diet, I feel lighter, clearer, and slowly, daily more “me”. In fact yesterday I cheated and it’s in those moments that I really see the results. I’ve also made other behavioral changes in my schedule that have helped to occupy my brain, as I’ve written recently. Additionally I am highly sensitive to any caffeine so I have to be ultra careful of my tea, coffee, and even chocolate consumption! I stopped drinking because it exacerbates my symptoms too.

So I’ve decided to share all of this because as you read it, I want you to note what happens when I list all of the things I stopped doing or eliminated. What is your internal reaction to what someone else’s experience is?

I purposely listed things in a way that highlighted what I have eliminated and did not share what I have gained (which is FAR more than what I have lost). 

The truth is I don’t struggle with making these changes because for me it means avoiding medication (also not against medication AT ALL! This is what works for ME and if I exhaust all the options and anxiety is still high then I would consider medication for myself). It also involves feeling better which is highly motivating for me! What I struggle with is managing other people’s reactions to my choices!

Alcohol is likely the worst offender. When I am at a social gathering and decline an alcoholic beverage you wouldn’t believe the push-back and comments I’ve gotten. Who cares if I’m not drinking? Why would my choices bother you? If I decline the yummy sandwich, funny (but also not so funny) exchanges like “why would you do this to yourself/?” ensue. Or when I choose to get up at 5 am because that’s the only time I can find quiet time to meditate and workout, it always results in a “you’re nuts” comment. While none of these comments break my bones or hurt me in any way, it’s energy I care not to spend my time on.  I love to diffuse with humor, but again, even that is a withdrawal from my energy bank.

My life motto is “it’s not about you. It's all about you.” Meaning - other people's reactions are not about you. They are about them. Your reaction to their response is about you.  So it’s how you handle the situation. So instead of stressing about how Susie Somebody said something to me that churned my butter the wrong direction, I instead sit back and get mindful about how my reactions to others may affect them. Whether it’s in my head or out of my mouth, whatever energy of my own I am throwing other’s way is my responsibility. So I write this because I want to use my energy in the best, most intentional ways I can. And I hope this can inspire you to do the same. I am not accusing any of us of being anything less than human. And as humans we judge. But it’s noticing that judgement and watching our actions. It’s allowing other people to make choices for themselves and loving and respecting that about them instead of hating it about them, because really it just brings up something in ourselves we aren’t comfortable with. It’s about being better in whatever form that takes on for you.

So if making better choices for yourself is struggle because of the culture around you - sit back and decide what’s most important for you. Follow your intuition, joy, and knowing.
xxx - Jess